From the April 13, 1968 New Yorker. Apparently, a bad week for musicals.

From the April 13, 1968 New Yorker. Apparently, a bad week for musicals.

This is why I hate “The Readers.” 

This is why I hate “The Readers.” 

"Jesus. It’s important to develop at least enough cynicism to keep people from fucking you over all the time."

I don’t think this is a good ad.

I don’t think this is a good ad.

The Quantified Self

Quantified Self tools can also track worker productivity, engagement, and satisfaction in novel new ways. The Quantified Enterprise would encourage employees to manage their time in more productive ways. Imagine if you could track your workday with minimal effort, and then analyze the results. The sites you visit, what you download, the cloud services you use, the length of meetings, how much time is spent on a given project — all would form a clear pattern of productivity, while defining areas for improvement.”

Quantify yourself so you can monetize yourself, data slave.

Unlike many of the other children, on the first day of kindergarten Lulu felt “awesome.”

Unlike many of the other children, on the first day of kindergarten Lulu felt “awesome.”

Here. I put the Internet on a t-shirt.

Here. I put the Internet on a t-shirt.

So many pro tips. So little time.

So many pro tips. So little time.

Ok, but if I was Ernie I’d make Bert change the channel back.

Ok, but if I was Ernie I’d make Bert change the channel back.

I’m Quitting the Band

"Pixies bassist Kim Deal has quit the band. Pixies have released four albums during their career. The last LP they released was the 1991 album, ‘Trompe le Monde,’ and the last single they brought out was ‘Bam Thwok’ in 2004.”

 
June 14, 2013, 9:57 p.m. A phone call from me to Eric Brodie, lead guitarist for our college band, Axe of the Apostles. 
Me: Hello?  
Eric: Hello? 
Me: Eric? Is this Eric? Eric Brodie? 
Eric: Who is this? 
Me: It’s Kevin. 
Eric: Kevin…
Me: From the band…
Eric: Kevin from the band… what band?  
Me: Our band. Axe of the Apostles.
Eric: Excuse me? 
Me: From college. Axe of the Apostles. 
Eric: Oh! Kevin. Holy shit. (laughs for a long time) Kevin from college, of course. I’m like, band? (laughs more). Wow, Kevin from college. Ok, dude, this is like… random. What is going on with you?  Why are you -
Me: Not much, not much. I got a few things going on, I mean, like in the works. You know, just a bunch of things. In the works. Nothing definitive. But you know, projects, a lot of projects. Just working on all these projects and -
Eric: Right. Right. Cool. That’s great. Listen, Kevin, wow. Kevin from the band. Dude, it’s been a realy long time but, like, we’re in the middle of watching a movie? So -
Me: Cool, what movie? 
Eric: I…uh… I don’t, it’s for the kids. Like, not a movie, just Netflix… or whatever… look man, do you need something?
Me: Oh! Sorry. I’m sorry, I’m just basically calling to let you know I’m quitting the band. 
Eric: ….
Me: I thought you should know. 
Eric:
Me: Because, like, we were the only two who really played through the whole four years? Or two. Whatever it was. I just felt like I owed it to you to call and, you know, just let you know I’m quitting the band.
Eric: Are you serious? 
Me: Yeah, yeah, I really am. It’s just time, Eric. It’s time to move on, you know? 
Eric: No, I mean, are you seriously calling me on, what, 10? Is it… No it’s after. It’s after… Are you seriously calling me at home to quit a band I don’t even remember being in? From like 25 years ago?
Me: See, I knew you’d be upset. That’s why I was putting it off.
Eric: Putting it off? Wait, is this Dennis? Is this for the stupid podcast?
Me: I’ve actually been meaning to do a podcast and have a bunch of ideas for - 
Eric: Ok, it’s not Dennis. 
Me: - like things that could be a podcast, interviews, just  - 
Eric: Ok, ok, Kevin. Kevin.
Me: - a whole lot of podcast ideas just it’s hard, you know - 
Eric: Kevin. Stop.  
Me: - cause of the time and -
Eric: Just stop. 
Me: Ok. 
Eric: So, is that it? 
Me: Yeah, I just wanted to let you know I’m quitting. The band. I’m out.
Eric: Well, it was interesting catching up. 
Me: I might still be open to some collaboration in the future though. 
Eric: Kevin, I’ve gotta go. 
Me: I  just wanted to throw it out there about the collaboration. I might have time in the Fall. Or Summer. Like August or something.
Eric: Ok, take care Kevin. 
Me: You take care too, man. We had a good run. We really did. Hello?