My Ted Talk - The Power of Disaccomplishment
The Power of Disaccomplishment
About seven years ago I found myself riding a bus in New York City. When I say found, I mean, literally, found, because I just happened to wake up and there I was, on a bus, somewhere uptown best as I could tell, and without shoes, money, wallet, any sort of identification whatsoever. It was about that time, just as we approached the Kingsbridge bus depot in the Bronx, that the concept of Disaccomplishment began to take shape. Well, to be fair, it was actually after I startled the bus driver who hadn’t realized I was still on the bus, and as I was waiting for the police to release me that the concept of Disaccomplishment — what it means to Disaccomplish something — fully formed for me.
Before I get into this concept of Disaccomplishment, and recognizing this is only a 10 minute talk, I want to first point out three facts that you will find simply amazing.
If you look at the slide just behind me you’ll see a spiral that looks like it’s spinning around in beautiful colors but really it’s just an optical illusion. Isn’t that remarkable? Even more remarkable, that’s not one of the three facts. So, just for a moment consider the following three amazing facts:
One: Did you know that Coca-Cola would be green if coloring weren’t added to it? That’s simply mind-blowing. Green Coca-Cola! Who would drink that? Maybe the Irish, I suppose, But other than that, who? Simply remarkable.
Two: Everyone’s tongue print is different! Just like fingerprints, Isn’t that incredible? Isn’t it? Now, you may notice I am wearing gloves so my fingerprints are not on this microphone. Therefore, were I to commit a crime there would be absolutely no trace I have been here other than the video they are taping, which does not hold up in a court of law once I erase it. So, the only way a criminal investigator could prove I was here is if I put my tongue on the microphone, like this… nyuuuuh. Yuck! Gross! But amazing!
Three: I have only ONE testicle! That is simply remarkable.
By now it should be quite obvious how these remarkable facts are related to the concept of Disaccomplishment, but let me offer you a singular example taken from an experiment I performed shortly after being released by the police.
The time was approximately 3:45 a.m. on a Tuesday morning in late February. I was riding my scooter on the FDR when I was hit from behind by a snow plow, thrown into a slush pile and sprayed with a mixture of sand and rock salt. After awhile, maybe a half hour or so, after my ears finally stopped ringing, I stood up and in a fit of pique threw my scooter into the East River. As I watched it plunge into the icy water, I screamed to no one in particular, “No! My scooter! You idiot!”
The experiment proved to me, beyond question, that Disaccomplishment has the power to transform our environment in a radical and deeply profound manner. That is all I have. Thank you.
