This is a 2006 syrah with a bit of a … ahem… a bit of a racy name. It’s called, well, there’s no getting around it, it’s called Sweaty Bitch. I understand. But you should at least try it. There. Do you like the nose? It’s earthy, with hints of black pepper. Has a snappy acidity. The name may be off-color but it really captures what’s going on here, wouldn’t you agree? I’d recommend this with just about any grilled meat. Oh? Something a bit more fruit forward? I have a 2003 pinot noir from Oregon. Again, the name here is a bit… look, I won’t beat around the bush. It’s called Cock Slobber. No, I know. Please. Please, ma’am. Please don’t go. Please. Just hear me out. All the wines we offer here at the Vine Vault are specifically chosen for what’s inside the bottle, not what’s on the label. Our customers rely on us to see through the marketing and the labeling gimmicks. Just… please. Here, please just try a taste. Ah, see? See? Deep aromas of earth, wood, spice, this is a powerful wine with a strong, lingering finish. You have exquisite taste, I can tell. What’s that? Something less heavy? Perhaps something in between the Sweaty Bitch and the Cock Slobber? I have something I’d like to show you. This is an exceptional 2004 cabernet we… sorry? Ah, well, I’d actually prefer you taste it before we get into the naming… no, no, it’s… it would just be, you know, a shame if you were influenced negatively by the whole… I understand. But you could always decant the wine before you serve it and your guests would never even have to see the bottle and… of course, of course, but just look at the deep ruby color here. And the nose! Can you catch the hint of truffle on the nose? Outstanding, isn’t it? Almost reminiscent of a Bordeaux; well-balanced, a taste of red berries, it’s called Felcher Fuckwad’s Slurpy Cunt Juice. I’m sorry. I know. I know. What if I peel the labels off?
